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Are they cheating on you?

Are they cheating on you?

If you have a suspicion that your significant other is cheating on you, there’s normally a valid reason for it. That said, a valid reason does not mean you are correct about your suspected infidelity. Below we’ll examine the circumstances in which your suspicion is legitimate, or not.

Attitude & Temperament

If you’ve caught your significant other, gradually or suddenly, acting different, perhaps there is a reason for this. In cases where morale and relationships are in good working order, consider just asking them why they seem off. If someone is genuinely acting weirdly, then there is a legitimate reason. If the answer is nothing or too abstract / generic, try getting to the root of it. Could there be other reasons?

Life is a tragedy, says Doctor Jordan Peterson, and it is certainly true. Things will happen in life that will make even the closest people feel temporarily distant, detached, or just generally down in the dumps. Despite what your ego is telling you, it isn’t always you. Perhaps you should consider externalities before jumping to conclusions.

That said, if they continue to deny that anything is wrong, or (worse yet, get angry), then perhaps it warrants further investigation into possible cheating.

Activity & Behavior

Most, if not all, animals are creatures of habit. Surely humans are no different in this regard. However, humans will tend to change circumstances if one is not suitable. The question is, what is not suitable? If the circumstance is your relationship and it is thought not to be suitable any longer, then their activities, rituals, and overall behaviors may change.

If you find no legitimate reason for a change in activities, such as the individual coming home late or leaving far too early, then perhaps there is more. In any decent relationship, you should know your partner enough to know what is out of the ordinary, and what could trigger change. And these days, keep a watch out for phone usage.

If you’re 5 years into a relationship, you know it can get boring pretty quickly. Couples stop preparing so well for each other after the first couple dates. It is a natural phenomenon that should be expected. However, if there’s no significant event coming up, or your partner didn’t get a raise and they’re still randomly dressing up and looking nicer than normal, note this in your chain of evidence because it is unusual and signs of infidelity.

Finally, excessive phone usage may also be a sign of attention moving to someone else. People who are interested in their lives do not need to be consumed with media.


Most married couples have joint bank accounts. If you notice weird sums of money missing or random packages coming to the door, perhaps you need to consider further possibilities. If you partner is not forthcoming about where money is going, or lines of communication are looser than they used to be, consider logging this as evidence as well.


It is good to collect and write down your observations as evidence in a diary or journal. However, your best defense is honesty. After all, if you’ve reached a point where you cannot clearly voice your concerns and suspicion of them cheating, you may be beyond the point of relationship success anyway.

For more tips on how to spot infidelity and cheating, a good resource is here:

If you need professional investigation services performed by a licensed private investigation company, we’re more than happy to help. Visit our family investigations page:

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Spectre Intelligence is a private investigation and intelligence firm located in sunny Round Rock, TX (Austin area). If you need investigation or cybersecurity services, visit us at and